It’s a whole new ball game. I’ve created a very clear vision of what I am looking for in a relationship (and in particular how I desire to feel), and what is acceptable and what is not. I find that at every moment, I need to be very aware of these ‘mini-challenges’ being sent my way so I can respond differently - saying ‘No’ when, actually, that’s EXACTLY what I want to say. Do I want to see you again? “You know what? I had a nice time, but no - no, I do not want to see you again. Thank you. “ It also requires me tuning into how I FEEL in this person’s company, instead of letting my rational mind take over with, “Well, perhaps he’s having a bad day,” or “Perhaps, it’ll be different next time.”
It’s a muscle I’m flexing, getting stronger, being clear about what I want to create, and what feels good to me, instead of worrying so much about how others might respond or being the “Good Girl.”
Having that clarity about what I desire has led to a surprisingly enjoyable date with an utter gentleman who I would not normally have been interested in. I said ‘Yes’ to how I want to feel; ‘No’ to the crumbs or sloppy treatment others are offering me.
Is saying ‘Yes’ when you mean to say ‘No’ something you find yourself doing repeatedly?
Here is my mini-challenge to you: next time you feel like this, do things differently, and...Just. Say. No. One small step at a time.
I’d love to hear if this all sounds familiar or about the mini-successes you experience putting your needs and desires first. Hit reply, or go over to my private FB group - join up and share there.
Wish me bon courage in the online world! :D
Big love x