advice

Forgive - Don't Forget

What the...?

I've just finished up a coaching session with my own coach - I had to share it. (Yes - I have my own coach. A couple actually. It means I understand the experience of coaching from both sides of the relationship. I can serve you better.)

I'm rocking it out quite intensely in the next week and a half with my coach to create an awesome effing plan for 2017! (Can't wait!) While we discussed all I want to achieve, do, be, feel in 2017, the issue of forgiveness came up. Something that happened in my past came back up to bite me in the ass. It could have potentially sabotaged my relationship, and on reflection, may also be impacting my business success. I won't go into the deets but suffice to say, I was a lesser person at the time. And during the session this morning, I realised - I have not forgiven myself for it!

Whaaa'?? Where did that come from?

These self-inflicted wounds can run deep. And it got me thinking...

  1. This is the perfect time of year to BE GRATEFUL - for all the experiences you have had, good and bad. They have made you into the body, mind and soul you are now. That's something to celebrate!
  2. This is the perfect time of year to FORGIVE YOURSELF - above all else, you must live with yourself, love yourself and be true to yourself. That ain't gonna happen if you're carrying a heavy burden. It will show itself in ways you never anticipated - relationships, business, you name it.
  3. LEARN HOW to forgive yourself. Seriously, I had to Google how to forgive myself! Ambitious people are often like that - holding ourselves to a higher standard than we hold others. I found this brilliant checklist of 10 Ways to Forgive Yourself & Let Go of the Past on mindbodygreen.com by contributor Megan Hale - sound advice. You're welcome.
"To err is human; to forgive is divine."

I'm positively bursting at the seams about 2017 and all its opportunities!!

Lightening the load will make everything all the more joyful to experience. Try it.

Break out the bubbles!

Love you!

x

PS Want to create a plan for 2017? Let's talk to see what we can do to make 2017 your best yet!

What Advice Would You Give Your Younger Self?

This question was brought to mind recently when I had dinner with a former boss - a loyal individual who has had enormous influence on my career and personal life. He said one evening - (he is of the ilk "Everyone has a right to my opinion!" Not everyone's cup of tea, but I love him dearly for it!) "You became more successful when you stopped trying so hard."

Wow - he was right. Once I started operating from a place of confidence, not fear, my career began to flow more easily. I stopped trying so hard to impress. I knew I was good at my job - actually, not just good, but a top performer. When I stepped into those shoes, my career blossomed. I spoke calmly, passionately and confidently about my domain to anyone who would listen - C-suite to entry level.

Closely related is the advice that I, personally, would give to my younger self. "Choose your battles." As a young thing, just starting out in the insurance industry, I was driven, ambitious, I wanted to change the world (I do still!), and be a strong woman leader to boot. EVERYTHING in my eyes was up for argument - I battled every point. Instead of stepping back, assessing, reframing, and taking the situation at a different angle, I came at it head-on like a Mack truck! The result? This same individual I call a dear, loyal friend now - my former boss, began the process to fire me!

I recovered of course, with an attitude re-adjustment. I went on to have a long professional association with this individual and a successful corporate career; but it was that jolt I needed - a kind of 'slap in the face' to review my approach to things. Again, it came down to operating from a place of confidence, not fear. 

So, what would you tell your younger self? I'd love to hear in the comments.

(Of course, the question is, would she/he listen?!)

Bon weekend!