I’ve been quiet the last month or so for good reason. I’ve experienced personal and health issues, and only now am I bouncing back. I have withdrawn into a cocoon (have you ever felt like doing that?) of self-evaluation and digging deep, and here is what I realised…
I’ve done it all wrong!
The first time I came to live in Paris, I was over the moon to have been transferred by my company. I lapped up living here, enjoying the lifestyle, working very hard, but still...something wasn’t quite right, and I was prone to bouts of, if not depression, then downright gloom. I didn’t ever feel quite where I was supposed to be. After all, I was here for work.
The second time I came to live in Paris, I was surprised at my move - I thought my previous years in France were well-spent but ultimately over. I came here this time for l’amour, lerrrve, and again...something wasn’t quite right. In fact, that is what I have been dealing with these last few weeks. I walked away from my reason for being here in la belle France. It’s what’s called a course corrector, for sure! So the last few weeks I have spent wondering, "If not here, then where? What does breaking up mean for me and where I live?"
In a way, I feel like this is now the third time I have come to live in Paris because now,...
I am here for me.
I had a moment last week on le quatorze juillet - Bastille Day - as I watched the pomp of the military parade, and the rouges blancs bleus jets (the Patrouilles Acrobatiques de France who spew red, white and blue smoke out the back as they fly low along the Seine to celebrate the national day) - THIS is where I am meant to be. I am here for me. I can now redefine my relationship with Paris and France instead of being here for someone or something else. I can go back to the time in my life as a young 20-something arriving for the first time in Paris and literally weeping when I saw the Eiffel Tower for the first time.
And that’s what I have been doing wrong all along.
I have made decisions to please others, backing my own desires into theirs. It's called self-abandonment, and women are very prone to doing it to themselves. Self-abandonment runs deep and can show up in many ways including giving more of your time, energy, love and care to others than you do for yourself. Sound familiar? This is quite possibly the first time in perhaps 15 years I can truly say that where I am is where I want to be - for now.
Who knows what the future has in store, but I’m excited about what may come, especially now that I am breaking a pattern of self-abandonment.
P.S. Does any of this strike a chord? Are you dressing up the desires of others and calling them your own? Do you want to find a way to have exactly what YOU DESIRE? Is lack of confidence and self-abandonment making you accept someone else’s desires as your own?
Let's talk - we’ll discuss where you are now, where you desire to be, and how we can get you there. These calls are super-valuable, and whether we decide to work together or not, you’ll come away with value and ideas about what to do next. These calls are not for everyone. It's for those ready to create change in their lives - that's why there is an application process. Is that you? Apply now.