I’ve been having really interesting conversations with a variety of people in the corporate sector, from CEOs and global product managers to front-line producers and HR professionals. When I mention that my focus in coaching is to help women discover their power and confidence, and silence the “I’m not good enough” voices, they chime in unison, “YES! We all definitely need coaching in that!”
Not exclusively a female experience
I know it is not an exclusively female experience to have those feelings of fraud-ulitis, like they’re surfing a wave of success and at any moment now, they could wipe out royally; but women and men respond to it in different ways. Very often men tend to crank up the ‘bravado dial’ to present a face of confidence, while women tend to simply take themselves out of the game completely by not putting themselves forward, expecting their fantastic work to speak for itself*.
The feelings of “I’m not good enough” and lack of self-confidence show up in a variety of ways:
Not putting ourselves forward for a promotion - in fact, the thought may not even occur to us that we might be a suitable candidate for a position;
Not being self-assured in putting our arguments or points across in meetings, or being talked over;
Doing too much - working like a dog, taking on jobs outside our remit and several grades below us, in the hope that it will reflect well in our performance review;
Deciding to stay put in a job we loathe in an environment of deep-rooted unhappiness, simply because we have convinced ourselves that we’re not sure how transferable our skills are - or even whether we have any skills anyone would pay for.
Even on a personal level, lack of self-confidence may show up in a string of damaging relationships, or even staying too long in one, without the confidence to take a conscious decision to move on.
A lack of self-confidence keeps us playing safe and small, so that we’re not living and working as we truly desire, we’re not taking control of our lives, we’re letting others take conscious decisions for us.
It may not have even occurred to you that this may be an issue. Often those who suffer most from lack of self-confidence and feelings of “I’m not good enough” present the very opposite to the world, when below the surface is a deep layer of uncertainty and fear.
So how are you lacking in self-confidence?
It’s an issue that is not widely discussed - there is seldom a forum in organisations to discuss the issue. That’s why more and more people are seeking vital assistance outside the organisation in the form of personal 1:1 coaching. Coaching provides an independent thinking partner and a safe environment to figure out behaviour patterns and beliefs, and change them, so clients can discover their power and confidence and create success on their terms - their own kind of wonderful.
Do you need confidential help with this? Let’s talk
*I’m speaking in generalisations here. Of course, I know that individually we all have a different response; however, I see a common theme of lack of self-confidence crop up in many of the clients I work with.