You know what I mean...
When someone asks how things are going, you dive into what's bugging you, how the environment you're working in is killing you, how you really want to get out but you just don't have the time/money right now.
I understand. Mostly, you just want to be heard.
There is a time and a place for that, for sure. It's true - we DO need to be heard, to vent, to get it off our chest, so we can move on, but at some point...
We have to let it go.
By staying stuck in the story, it is impossible to move forward or get creative about how to make changes in our life - business, career, relationships, everything). It stops us from seeing any solutions, and the perfect one that might just be right in front of us.
By staying stuck in our story, we shut down options with our limiting thoughts and beliefs ("I don't have time", "I can't become my own boss - I need the money", "I can't go and do what I really love because I have a good job", "I can't because...[insert own limiting belief here]).
I see it a lot with people in the corporate environment. The ones that come to me aren't happy where they are, and they're searching for a way out, or something to do about it - trying to decide what the next step for them is, and how to implement a plan.
I find that people in this situation are so stuck in their story that they believe there is no way out - or if there is a way out, they can't see it clearly or it is not for "people like them." Instead, they choose not to do anything about it, preferring instead to tolerate their stress and unhappiness, convincing themselves that "work was never meant to be fun" (I beg to differ!) In doing so, they give the control of their future to someone else e.g. the organisation for whom they work (or some other external factor) - and for the most part these days, that future is whether or not their name features on the list for the next round of redundancies.
It takes courage.
It takes courage and a heart-felt belief that we deserve better and we can create a lifestyle of our design. It takes courage to turn fears that stop us from playing small and accepting less than we had imagined for ourselves, into the excitement of a challenge, of playing to our strengths, of stepping out of the ordinary, and into our Zone of Genius.
Coaching works to understand the fears and limiting beliefs keeping us playing small and in the same place, accepting less than we deserve. It works to expand our thinking about options and possibilities so we can create a clear outcome and an actionable plan to fulfill it. It works to have an unbiased, impartial person work with us to create the exit strategy or the next move so we experience courage, excitement and vigour, not fear and anxiety.
Coaching isn't for everyone - a client must be READY to be coached; READY to make changes; READY for action to create a new future for themselves, and take back control.